INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
A family gathers around the table for dinnertime. They eat in silence. A FATHER, MOTHER, DAUGHTER and SON. The FATHER looks up and breaks the silence.
FATHER
So it turns out that Johnson Account is actually going to be giving us a lot more business than we thought at first.
MOTHER
That's nice dear.
FATHER
So how was everyone's day? I can't be the only one with some good news to report?
SON
Ms. Walski gave me lead step at my dance practice today!
FATHER
Wow! Well how about that? (claps)
MOTHER
That's great honey, proud of you!
FATHER
Now you know, Johnny Depp's parents had him wear tap shoes to bed when he was growing up so at any time of day or night he could practice his steps.
DAUGHTER (Muttered under breath)
Dad, no one gives a shit about Johnny Depp...
FATHER
What was that?
DAUGHTER
I said no one cares about Johnny Depp.
FATHER
Do you mean that?
MOTHER
Honey, please, it's ok.
FATHER
No, no it's alright, I've got this, dear. So now I'm ‘no one’ is that it?
DAUGHTER
It doesn't matter, whatever, just forget it.
The family go back to eating, a semi-tense silence hangs over the table as they eat.
MOTHER
Well, it's been a long week for everyone, how about we make tonight movie night, huh?
FATHER
I think that's a great idea! You know I just picked up a great Blu-Ray box set of-
DAUGHTER
-We don't want to watch Rango again, Dad.
Extremely tense silence now descends on the table.
FATHER
Excuse me?
DAUGHTER
No one wants to watch Rango, Dad. We watch Rango every day.
FATHER
You know I work a lot to put food on this family's table. Food that you're coincidently eating off of placemats that I'd like you all to look at.
DAUGHTER
Dad, don't.
FATHER
Look at your placemat.
The DAUGHTER lifts her dish to reveal laminated Rango-themed dinner mats on the table. MOTHER and SON keep their heads down looking at their plates.
FATHER (Pointing at SON).
What year did Rango win the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature!?
SON
2011.
FATHER
Good. (Points at MOTHER). What two genres did Director Gore Verbinski simultaneously rejuvenate with its release??
MOTHER
Western and Anthropomorphic Animal.
DAUGHTER
Is the second one even technically a-
FATHER
Correct.
DAUGHTER
Okay okay I get it. It's not terrible, but can we watch something else then that's similar? Like Despicable Me?
FATHER throws a glass on the floor, loudly shattering it.
FATHER
We never say that name! Not in this house!
DAUGHTER stands up from the table, anger and grief across her face.
DAUGHTER
I hate this family! I hate Rango! I hate Johnny Depp.
The DAUGHTER runs from the table and down the stairs. The FATHER also stands up from the table. MOTHER is trying to calm down FATHER, SON is crying at the table.
FATHER
Say that to my face! You want to be old enough to make the rules in this house then say that to my face, young lady!
SON
I want to be excused!
FATHER
You'll stay right there until I tell you you're excused! Recite the cast of Rango in Order of Appearance! Now!
SON stands up quickly and fearfully, stammering out the cast list.
SON
Ian Abercrombie, Claudia Black, Abigail Breslin-
FATHER shatters another glass.
FATHER
No no no that's Alphabetical Order! I said Order of Appearance!
SON (Tearfully)
Johnny Depp... Isla Fisher...
MOTHER
Honey what are you doing? She doesn't know any better! She's a teenager!
FATHER
Disparage Rango in my house? She's gonna learn that as long as I'm here, this is a Rango house!
The DAUGHTER returns to the kitchen. She removes her large coat to reveal denim overalls and a yellow shirt. She slowly puts on gloves and a pair of goggles from her coat pocket. She is a Minion.
DAUGHTER
This is me, Dad. This is who I am. I'm tired of hiding it.
FATHER
My God.
MOTHER
Oh no! My baby. My baby!
The DAUGHTER leaves the kitchen and walks out on the family
MOTHER
We failed her... Oh my god we failed her.
FATHER
No, no baby we did the best we could with what we knew. Now we can only hope she comes back to us.
MOTHER
But what if she doesn't? Oh, my baby girl!
FATHER
What does Rango tell us? No one can walk out of their own story...
As FATHER says the last line MOTHER and FATHER are clutched in tearful embrace. The lights fade out as sad music plays.
Blackout