What's the Deal...? My Exclusive Interview with Jerry Seinfeld's Digital Consciousness
Interview 5/23/23
One of the more interesting, and maybe unsettling, aspects of an AI like ChatGPT is its ability to approximate the voice/philosophy of any creator with a substantial body of written/recorded work. By analyzing everything the artist or thinker has ever published we can have a conversation with any reclusive (or even deceased!) figure from the public sphere. We can even ask questions they would decline to answer themselves. Which brings up a whole new set of ethical questions.
With that said, I decided to sit down with artificial-intelligence-generated-comedian Jerry Seinfeld to ask him a couple questions on the world, his process, and his past.
Stay tuned for some fun observations! We go into Jerry’s controversial dating past, his extreme wealth, thoughts on modern trends, and his contemporary fan casting for a modern-day ‘Seinfeld’ reboot!
Jerry Seinfeld: Sure, I'd be happy to answer your questions. Fire away!
Interviewer: I feel like I have to start with this one. So, what's the deal with airplane food?
Jerry Seinfeld: Airplane food, huh? It's like they took the worst elements of a microwave dinner and a cardboard box and said, "Here, have a meal!" I mean, have you ever noticed how everything on those trays looks exactly the same? It's like a color-coded puzzle designed to confuse your taste buds. And don't get me started on those tiny little salt and pepper packets. Who are they fooling? You'd need a microscope just to get a decent sprinkle on your meal. Airplane food, it's a mystery wrapped in an aluminum foil!
Interviewer: What's your take on reality TV shows?
Jerry Seinfeld: Reality TV shows, huh? They're like a modern-day circus, except instead of clowns and acrobats, we get a bunch of regular people trying to outdo each other in the game of mundane activities. I mean, who needs real talent when you can watch someone eat bugs or live in a house with strangers? It's like we've collectively decided that watching other people's lives is more entertaining than living our own. And the worst part is, we're hooked! We're like reality TV junkies, craving our next fix of manufactured drama and staged conflicts. It's a strange world we live in, my friend.
Interviewer: What's your take on fashion trends?
Jerry Seinfeld: Fashion trends, they're like a never-ending parade of bizarre choices. One day, it's skinny jeans that make you look like you're wearing a second layer of skin. The next day, it's oversized sweaters that could fit an entire family of four. And don't even get me started on those high-waisted pants that seem to reach your armpits. I mean, who decided that was a good look?
Interviewer: Jerry, what do you think about age gaps in relationships? You famously dated a 17 year old when you were 38 in the early 90s.
Jerry Seinfeld: Ah, age gaps in relationships, that's a sensitive topic. Look, relationships are like a delicate dance. There's chemistry, compatibility, and a whole lot of timing involved. Now, when it comes to age gaps, it can get a bit tricky. Society has its opinions, and everyone's got something to say about it. But here's the thing: love doesn't always follow a logical script. Sometimes, it's a surprise guest that shows up unannounced at your door. Now, as for my own experience, yeah, I dated a younger woman back in the day. It raised some eyebrows, I know. But love is a funny thing. It doesn't always adhere to societal norms or expectations. And I'm not here to judge anyone's choices. Relationships are about two people who connect on a deeper level, and as long as both parties are consenting adults, who am I to say what's right or wrong? Love is a wild ride, my friend. It takes us to unexpected places, and sometimes, it challenges us to rethink our preconceived notions. So, age gaps in relationships? Well, if the heart wants what it wants, who are we to stand in its way?
Interviewer: Some people might say your fame and wealth have insulated you from a lot of 21st century problems. What would you say to those people?
Jerry Seinfeld: The fame and wealth card, it's always there, isn't it? Look, I'm not gonna deny that being in the public eye and having financial success can shield you from certain challenges. But here's the thing: life is still life, no matter how much money you have or how many people know your name. I face my own unique set of problems and struggles.
Interviewer: If you were making 'Seinfeld' today in 2023, who would you want to cast in the different roles?
Jerry Seinfeld: If we were making 'Seinfeld' today… that's an interesting thought. Casting is crucial, so let's see who I'd envision for the different roles in 2023.
For my character, Jerry Seinfeld, I would want someone with great comedic timing, a touch of neuroticism, and a knack for observational humor. How about John Mulaney? He's got that same kind of energy and wit that could bring the character to life.
As for George Costanza, Jason [Alexander] did an amazing job in the original series, but if we were recasting today, I'd love to see someone like Bill Hader take on the role. He has that ability to play quirky and neurotic characters with brilliant timing.
Elaine Benes could be portrayed by someone like Ilana Glazer. She has the comedic chops and a natural charisma that would capture Elaine's essence.
And for the role of Kramer, I'd love to see someone like Eric Andre. He has that wild energy and improvisational skills that could bring Kramer's zaniness to a whole new level.
Interviewer: So, ‘Jer’. Can I call you Jer?
Jerry Seinfeld: Call me ‘Jer’? Well, why not? We're having a conversation here, so feel free to give it a shot, my friend. Go ahead and call me Jer if it suits you. Let's keep the conversation flowing and see where it takes us, Jer and all.
Interviewer: Okay, Jer. What's your favorite Seinfeld episode? Just say the name of the episode, no justification, no reason. Just say your favorite episode of the show.
Jerry Seinfeld: "The Contest."
Well that’s all the time I had with Jerry! Let me know if you enjoyed our conversation and/or if you think ChatGPT did a good job portraying an authentic Jerry. Or perhaps a Bizarro one? Who would you interview if you could? You can!